U23 Anh Mat Troi Trong Tuyet Trang Love

I knew exactly what love looks like

...in 7th grade.

He was taller than me, with big, pointy ears that were so distracting. But he had beautiful big eyes. He helped me with all of my homework. It was the only thing that I first cared about Do Duy Manh.

Even though I hadn't met love yet

If love had wandered into my homeroom

I would have recognized him at first glance.

He was the one, I was sure. My mom was my dad's one and only, and she was shorter than my dad, her smile captured the sunlight, and her voice was tender. Dinh Trong was shorter than me, his smile captured all the light in this world, and his voice was the most melodious of all I had ever heard.

The first time I saw Dinh Trong was when he was struggling with his math problems – an easy algebra solution of 'finding x'. He kept mumbling, in between which I heard "hate Math" and "need someone". So I decided to step in.

Love boomed. Even though I was in 7th grade, love had no age limits, wasn't it?

Love played acoustic guitar

And knew all my favorite Beatles songs.

I did not recognized Duy Manh was good with guitar until we were both in 10th grade.

"Why I have never seen you with this?"

"Well," – he smiled and waved at a group of girls passing by. Their giggles made Dinh Trong some what discomforted. – "You have never asked."

It was true. Dinh Trong was the star of the piano team – and he knew Duy Manh knew music as Duy Manh could well read a full notes sheet. But he had never knew Duy Manh could play piano, guitar and even a bit of drum this well. Duy Manh said it was no biggie – "My dad was into this, so he taught me since I was young".

Dinh Trong personally had no problems with Duy Manh playing instruments. What really made him uncomfortable was how Duy Manh started to show off his charisma unintentionally, and girls then swooned over him.

Love wasn't afraid to ride the bus with me.

It was good to have Dinh Trong accompanied him every morning. The seats on the bus were much closer than that on subways, and Duy Manh enjoyed the feeling of having Dinh Trong's shoulder lightly brushing his, sometimes leaving Dinh Trong's lemon scent on his school uniform.

And I knew

I just must be searching the wrong classroom

Just must be checking the wrong hallways

He was there, I was sure of it

If only I could find him.

Duy Manh moved when we entered colleges. He left me a simple good bye, and a meet up promise. We held hands for the first time. He said he would miss me.

But when love finally showed up

He had a bowl cut

He wore the same clothes every day for a week

Love hated the bus

Love didn't know anything about the Beatles.

We met each other again on the street, almost passing by like two strangers. But I could recognize that lemon scent anywhere.

"...Manh, Duy Manh?" – was his greeting.

We forgot all about our works that day, spending time to catching up on each other. Dinh Trong had changed a lot. In spite of that lemon scent, he had dyed his hair a light shade of brown, stopped playing the piano for almost seven years, and was then working for a law firm.

"Tran Dinh Trong as a lawyer? Wow, that is so... unexpected of you."

"I made it to partner level. Weird, isn't it?" – he replied with a smile. That smile had not change a bit.

"How about you, Duy Manh? What have you been doing?"

"VTV, reporter." – I showed him my news reporter card.

"That is so expected of you."

We both laughed.

And love grew

Stretched like a trampoline.

We dated. We held hands. We had our first kiss. We shared an apartment.

We had anniversaries, like every couples did. Five of them.

Love changed

Love disappeared... slowly

Like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed

Love vanished like an amateur magician

Everyone could see the trapdoor but me

Like a flat tire

There were other places I had planned on going

But my plans didn't matter.

We also broke up. We were both too young, too ambitious. We skipped our meals together, running for deadlines. Most of the time, I came home to an empty bed. Dinh Trong came home to a sleeping me.

Love stayed away for years

And when love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.

It was an abroad experience. We, surprisingly, met again in Milan: I was having my first vacation after leaving the law firm; Duy Manh was in Milan to report the fashion week. We both realized that money and fame were not our ideal life pursuit. We both wanted a family, but we had no one on our minds to settle down but each other.

We got married in Spain, nine months later.

But love also cries
And love will tell you, "You are beautiful"
And mean it
Over and over again

"You are beautiful"
When you first wake up

"You are beautiful"
When you've just been crying

"You are beautiful"
When you don't wanna hear it

"You are beautiful"
When you don't believe it

"You are beautiful"
When nobody else will tell you,

"You are beautiful"
Love still thinks...
You are beautiful.

Even when we were having a fight, Duy Manh would still telling me the ILY, then left. He came home the next morning with a freshly baked batch of chocolate muffins and a sincere 'Sorry, beauty'.

I loved him so much.

Love is not who you were expecting
Love is not what you can predict

...

Maybe love is not ready for you
Maybe you are not ready for love
Maybe love just isn't the marrying type.

That day, he did not came back with a batch of muffins, but a sheet of divorce. I signed. We were over.

Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce

Love looks older now, but just as beautiful as you remember

Maybe love is only there for a month

Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit

Maybe love stays
Maybe love can't
Maybe love shouldn't...

We met many times after, with all the same feelings, but we agreed on staying friends. I was in no way complained about this arrangement. I got to smell the familiar lemon scent whenever he took my offer of driving him to work. I got to hold his hand under the night sky, pointing at stars and making wishes. I got to kiss him, too, when we both agree on kissing. Love stayed but no strings longer attached.

We stayed that way, growing old together. Dinh Trong got Alzheimer at 68. He started to forget how taxes law work. He forgot how to play the piano. He forgot even his name.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to

And love leaves exactly when love must.

When love arrives say,
"Welcome, make yourself comfortable"

If love leaves, ask him to leave the door open behind him

Turn off the music, listen to the quiet

Whisper,

"Thank you, for stopping by".

But Dinh Trong never forgot me. He whispered me when I was about to pass away:

"Thank you, for stopping by."

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